


I Will ALWAYS Find You

by Lust_is_sinful7



Category: BTS RM - Fandom, BTS RM/Reader, mono. - Kim Namjoon | RM (Album), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: BTS Namjoon/Reader, BTS RM/Reader - Freeform, Bangtan Boys | BTS References, F/M, Fate & Destiny, Kim Namjoon | RM Smut, Mafia Bangtan Boys | BTS, RM Imagine, boy next door, bts - Freeform, bts fanfiction, bts ff, bts namjoon, bts rm, bts smut, namjoon imagine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:35:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25834363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lust_is_sinful7/pseuds/Lust_is_sinful7
Summary: They say that in one lifetime you will love many times, but one love will burn your soul forever.Y/N believed this to be true for everyone except for her, however; she didn't know that in a different continent a man who once was just a boy in love had resolved to find her.Can two souls really find each other after so long? Will she remember the boy who used to be her next door neighbor now that he is a man?
Relationships: BTS - Relationship, BTS ARMY(s)/Jeon Jungkook, BTS ARMY(s)/Kim Namjoon | RM, BTS ARMY(s)/Kim Taehyung | V, BTS Jungkook - Relationship, BTS RM - Relationship, BTS RM/Reader - Relationship, BTS V/Reader, Bangtan Boys Ensemble & BTS ARMY(s), Kang Daniel - Relationship, Kim Namjoon | RM & Rapmon (BTS)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	1. We were just children

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!   
> This Imagine will contain mature content so please read at your own discretion.   
> Don't be a silent reader, leave me a comment and let me know what you think.   
> If you enjoy reading, please like and share!   
> Let me know what you think, do you believe in destiny and fate???   
> Be Kind! 
> 
> I purple you!!!

They say that in one lifetime you will love many times, but one love will burn your soul forever. 

When Y/N was younger, she didn’t know much about love, not in the romantic sense at least. Getting older she had been in a few relationships, none of which she had good memories of; they were always toxic and brought her regret. It was so bad that at one point after her latest break-up, she decided to swear off love and romantic relationships.   
“It’s best if I just read about it, maybe even fantasize” she had told herself, “Love just isn’t for me.”  
With that resolve she continued her life for years until he found her. 

Namjoon’s POV

Namjoon was now a successful musician and producer with a very promising future ahead of him. At only 25, Namjoon had won multiple awards for his songs and had given many speeches in front of prestigious organizations. To the world he was an inspiration, someone so intelligent and insightful that everything he did was praised, it was difficult to believe he was human. Like King Midas, everything he touched turned to gold, which was wonderful to an extent. He had plenty of money and fame, more than he thought was possible, he was living his dream, yet for some reason he felt alone. He was always surrounded by people, but he was alone.   
Loneliness usually came accompanied by dark thoughts, he tried to keep those at bay by keeping busy. Sometimes it worked, but sometimes, he would wake up in the middle of the night with the emptiness knocking at his heart. Most people used drugs, or alcohol, sometimes even sex to fill that void, but not Namjoon. He was smarter than that and he did not want to go down a road of destruction. During those times, he would pull out a picture of when he was young and relish in the idea of what could have happened if she hadn’t moved away.   
Tonight was one of those nights, so at 3:53 a.m he pulled out the picture from his wallet and held it close to his face until his heartbeat began to slow down and his breathing normalized. 

15 years ago  
Namjoon lived in a quiet neighborhood in the city of Ilsan, one Saturday morning while walking downstairs for breakfast he saw the new neighbors moving into the house next door. With them the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his seven years of life. She was so beautiful he ran through the kitchen and through the door to see her up close. As he was running through the front lawn he tripped on a rock and fell right on his face, as he got up he realized someone was standing right in front of him.   
“Are you okay?” She asked while holding a brown teddy bear between her arms.   
“I’m fine, hi!” He sounded a bit too excited, although he was blushing of embarrassment,“Are you the new neighbor?”  
She looked back at her parents who were busy bringing down the sofa from their moving truck, “Yeah, I’m Y/N.” She stretched her hand out to him.   
Taking her hand he replied, “I’m Namjoon! I can show you around if you want.”  
She nodded then quickly went to ask her parents for permission to go around the block, the rest was history.   
A few months after the move, little Namjoon and little Y/N became so close they decided to become a couple, or as much of a couple that they could be at 5 and 10 years old. Because of their age gap, their parents believed it was more of a sibling bond than anything else. Namjoon would protect Y/N and teach her things, while Y/N would admire Namjoon, they were basically stuck by the hips. At their young age, Namjoon didn’t know about love but he knew he always wanted Y/N by his side and Y/N knew that no matter what she could always count on Namjoon.   
This continued for two years, and for those two years, even though they had a lot of ups and downs, they were happy when they were together. 

One night, Y/N woke up to her parents arguing. She didn’t know what they were arguing about but their screams and words scared her, so she jumped out through the window and went to knock on Namjoon’s. She slept in his bed that night, he of course, slept on the floor. The next morning when her parents came to look for her, they found her at the neighbors home, they realized their broken relationship was hurting their daughter too much, so they decided to divorce. Y/N’s mother decided to take a job in the states, her father would stay in Seoul. After hearing the news, Y/N was heartbroken. Yes, she was sad her parents wouldn’t be together anymore but what tore her most was how she would lose her safe haven, she would not see Namjoon anymore. Namjoon was heartbroken as well; they were taking his love away, how could he go on? While thinking that night, he decided to speak with his dad, maybe they could send him to the states with Y/N. 

Namjoon’s dad gave him a long speech about how he would have to stay in Seoul, he told him they were too young to be together either way, how could a 12 year old know he wants to spend the rest of his life with one girl? He told him there would be plenty of girls in his future and eventually he would forget about Y/N. Namjoon argued with his dad the whole day, saying he knew they were meant to be. Namjoon’s father wouldn’t budge, and after hours of trying to talk sense into his very naive son, he told him something that would change Namjoon forever. “If she is meant for you as you think, if she really is your soulmate, the strings of fate will tug and bring you back together. If and only if she is your soulmate, you will find each other in the future and you will be together, but for now son, you are too young to know.” Namjoon gave up then, he knew Y/N was his soulmate, so he decided to trust fate.   
The night before Y/N left, they slept over and spent every second with each other, talking and laughing, completely absorbed in each other’s presence so much that they didn’t sleep. They took that picture that night. He gave her a kiss on the cheek that night and she did the same. The next day before she left, he held her little hands in his and looked right into her eyes, “Even if it takes a lifetime, I will always find you, then we can be together forever. 사랑해 Y/N.”  
Time passed and he still felt heartbroken; but knowing he would one day find her he decided to keep going, to create a name for himself so she would be proud when they met again.

\---

He smiled at the memory and for the first time in 15 years he let himself hope. Reaching for his phone he made a call, “Hey, sorry I’m calling this early. I need you to find someone for me…”

Namjoon didn’t know that over 6,000 miles away, Y/N’s once bright and happy eyes had slowly become dull.


	2. "Every beginning is just a beginnings end."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "... whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same..." Every time you read this quote, normally you would think about true love, but not Y/N. Y/N sees Catherine and Heathcliff as toxic, her eyes were opened long ago by a very special someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!   
> This chapter will delve into Y/N's mind, let me know what you think!   
> Be Kind.   
> I Purple You!

Y/N’s POV 

“Can anyone tell me their thoughts on the quote that I put up on the screen?”   
It was typical of Mrs. Braver to end her lecture with a quote, I figured it out about two days into this class. She would say it was to get a discussion on a peculiar topic started but I think she did it to get to know where her students’ morality stands.   
“It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he’s handsome, Nelly, but because he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same…”   
It was familiar, and it brought a cozy feeling over me. Of course I knew where this text was from, I wasn’t minoring in literature for nothing. Thinking back to how my love for books began brought happy memories, memories I had forgotten or suppressed for some reason. Now wasn’t the time to get emotional though, was it?  
“It’s not love,” I say more to myself. However, due to the lack of noise, my voice echoed through the auditorium and in half a second, all eyes were on me. I’ve never been fully confident when speaking out in front of people, that’s one of the main reasons I usually don’t raise my hand in class even if I know the answer, but now I feel blood rushing to my face, I'm wishing for the ground to open up and swallow me. 

“Care to elaborate?” with a smile on her face Mrs. Braver eyes finally land on me.  
I shake my head profusely, “I’d rather not.”  
“Please, humor me.”  
I figure I won’t get out of this situation unless I speak, the faster I explain, the faster they will stop staring.  
“Okay,” I take a deep breath and fold my hands intertwining my fingers, 'I can get through this,' is my mantra as I continue, "Suppose you read the text without knowing the content of the context, then you would think that it is a girl saying she loves a man enough to know that they are soulmates, however, she has to stay with the comfortable choice due to society rules. But, that was not love, at least, a person who loves another so much to consider them a soulmate would never speak like that. Of course, knowing the context we know that this pretense that Catherine has of her love toward Heathcliff is toxic, especially when she says she is Heathcliff. They are codependent on one another, they care about each other in their own way but it is not enough for her to marry him instead of Edgar or for Heathcliff to let her go and let her be happy. I mean, isn’t love supposed to be a sacrifice? Shouldn’t you want your lover or soulmate to be happy even if it is not with you?”

By now most of the people still staring at me are looking at me with a sense of awe, although some have gotten back to their laptops, which really gives me comfort.   
Mrs. Braver goes back to her laptop, “That’s a very interesting observation, although most people romanticize this quote. Your words are like a breath of fresh air, tell me, have you been in a toxic relationship before? Have you been in love?"   
Her shameless question takes me aback, as I try to steady my gaze I realize a few eyes are still looking at me intently, probably from all directions. How could she ask such a question?   
“I actually don’t believe in love,” I smile looking straight into her eyes, “So I can’t say I have.”  
She smirks and nods at me, “That is all for today, class. Don’t forget there are a few projects due this weekend, check your syllabus. I will see you next week.”  
At her dismissal I get all my things ready and speed for the door hoping she won’t notice me.   
“Ms. Y/L/N?”  
I quickly turn around, “Yes?”   
Her words are meant to be kind, "Love is real, You may not believe in it now but don't close yourself off. Love usually happens when you least expect it."  
I'm lost for words so I smile and walk away.   
Once out of the classroom I start heading for my dorm. Literature 101 was my last class today so I get to go home on a 3 day weekend.   
As I'm lost in my own thoughts I hear someone run up beside me, "Hey!"   
I'm surprised at how handsome and defined his face is, and as I think this my cheeks begin to flush, again. "Hi."  
"Your perspective on Wuthering Heights is very different from anything I've heard before, did you just finish it?"  
I think for a second, to be truthful, I first heard this story when I was 5, but who would believe that, right? So I give him my next most honest answer, "Actually no, I've read it multiple times since I was younger."  
"Ah, that makes sense." He reaches out to me, "I'm Taehyung, by the way."   
I take it, "Y/N, nice to meet you." His hand is firm, but soft.   
He smiles then looks down while scratching his neck, "Listen, ah, can I have your number? I mean, so we can read some books together, sometime," he's blushing, "Whenever you have time, or you know, grab some coffee after class?"   
I can't believe this extremely handsome creature is asking me for my number, what seems even more unbelievable is that he's blushing. I pinch myself for good measure, and it hurts so I must not be dreaming.   
"Sure," I take his phone and add my number and name on it. "Just text me."   
He nods and with that I take my leave. Getting to my dorm I begin to pack a bag, once I'm about to leave I double check my list to make sure I have everything. And although everything in the list is checked off, I can't shake the feeling that I'm missing something. Then I see it, the worn out book that sits on top of the book shelf next to my window. I quickly grab it and make my way to my car.   
Driving home I began to remember the day the book was given to me by my first boyfriend. In fact he was the closest thing I have to a first love, my lovely Kim Namjoon.

\---Flashback  
"Books are boring, Joonie. Why do we have to read. It's such a nice day, let's go play!"  
Little Namjoon smiles at Y/N, he could never say no to her but he had to keep his resolve on this.   
"I'm sorry, Y/N-ssi, we have to read first, then we can play."  
"Okay, but you read to me."  
"Fine." He motioned for her to sit next to him.   
As he read, Y/N gave him her full attention, she asked questions when she didn't know what was going on and Namjoon would explain. He would teach her new words she didn't understand and he tried to read in a way so she would also enjoy the story.   
The first book he read to her was Wuthering Heights. At first, she didn't know why Joonie was not swooning over Catherine and Heathcliff's love story so she asked him and when he finally answered he opened her eyes. Y/N was 5 at the time but after Joonie explained everything she knew a little bit more about love than a 5 year old usually knows. [It was a lot but the mind of a child is like a sponge, and she never forgot his words, they just hid somewhere in the back of her mind and rarely came out.] He had told her that some types of love are toxic; It was during that time that Joonie explained to Y/N that although some men can promise you the world, sometimes they don't mean it, when a boy really loves a girl her will not make vain promises, he will be a gentleman for her and when a girl loves a boy, she will not try to change him, they should accept each other as they are, and come together to be better for themselves first and then for each other.   
Joonie was smart, so he taught Y/N about everything he knew, literature was one of the things he loved the most, so he would read to her, ultimately this made Y/N want to read. 

The night before she left for the states, as they lay next to each other in Y/N’s bed, she began to tear up.   
“Why are you crying Y/N-ssi?” He was concerned and scared, after all, he only saw Y/N cry when she hurt herself, and right now her body seemed fine.   
“I’m scared.” She sniffled, “Who will teach me now? Who will sneak into my room when the storm gets scary? Who will push me to do things I don’t think I like but then I find out I love?”  
Joonie’s heart begins to hurt, and a part of him wants to cry too. It’s true, he won’t be there for her anymore, who will take care of her now? But thinking about all the bad never brings any good, so he thinks for a minute, if he cries, what hope can he give her?   
With sadness in his heart and teary eyes, he grabs a book from his bag, “Here Y/N-ssi, this is the first book we read together, remember?” He wipes the tear that threatens to fall, “Keep this with you always, and when you are sad, read it. It will remind you of me, and know that I will always be thinking about you.”   
“But this is your favorite book.”   
“I want you to have it. Don’t lose it because one day, you will have to give it back, okay?”   
She smiles softly and hugs him. A part of her mind is extremely happy that she is special enough for Joonie to give her his favorite book, but another part is still sad that she has to leave. Not wanting to be sad anymore she decides to believe Joonie’s words, she will return it one day.   
“I will keep it safe for you.”   
\---

As I continue my drive home, I feel something tugging in her heart, tears had been falling from my eyes as I reminisced about simpler times, happy times. I wonder where he is now. I wonder if he still thinks about me...

\---

Namjoon’s POV

“We found something, can we meet to discuss it?”  
I feel a surge of adrenaline at those words, my heart is pounding a million beats a minute, did they really find my Y/N?


	3. Fate has a way of making things happen...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life in its entirety is very unpredictable, one day you are here, the next you are 6,000 miles away from home. It's funny what fate does though, it has a way of placing you in the right place at the right time, things don't happen when you want them to happen, if they did, what fun would there be in life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone!   
> It's been a while! Anyway, I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think; drop a comment or a kudo or just share!   
> Remember to BE KIND!   
> BTW, who else is super excited waiting for BE?!

NAMJOON's POV  
Waiting on the results had me on edge, in some ways it brought more anxiety than waiting behind stage for my name to be called. 

“We found three possible matches based on the details you provided. There are 3 people in the city of San Francisco that have the same first and last name and are only children in their household.”  
He turned the monitor towards me, “These are their most recent pictures, do any look familiar?”  
I had not seen Y/N in 13 years, could she have changed so much? The women on the screen did not look familiar, but what could I know of how she would look now? On my way here I thought of how amazing it would be if they found her, how I would know right away it’s her from one look, but through these pictures is not enough, how can I tell it is her when I can’t look into her eyes?

“Honestly, none of these look familiar, I think I need to go see them in person. That is the only way I can really know who my Y/N is.”  
Jake had a look of concern as he nodded his head, “Namjoon, there is no possible way for you to meet these women, it’s just not rational. We can’t risk exposing you like that, not to mention, what would you say? ‘Hey, I am stalking you because you have the same name as my childhood best friend?’”  
“Well it does sound creepy when you put it like that but I need to know, you know me. I wouldn’t even consider this if it wasn’t important to me.” It sounded more like a plea, I guess that is where I am at.   
Jake thought for a second, I could see the conflict he was having with his inner self by the way his brows furrowed. “Fine. We will have to be very cautious about this, because if the media or anyone else gets a sniff of this, your career is over.” 

“I understand,” I smiled, “So, what do we do?”  
“The best way to approach this in a smart way would probably be to have you bump into each one of them accidentally and hope they recognize you or you recognize them.” He stopped while typing something on his computer, “To do this, we will have to hire the best P.I’s and have them track the suspects for a week or two, then we proceed to bringing you in.”   
“Sounds good,” I can’t believe a few minutes ago I thought this wouldn’t be possible.   
“But if it is neither, you have to give this up, Namjoon.” His face was serious, “Promise me.”

Thinking it over it sounded so definite, after so long I came to long for her presence even more than I had all these years. Could I really give her up? Could I really attempt to move on after a miniscule effort? Then my father’s words rang in my ears once again, if we are meant to be, fate will find a way. I just wanted to speed the process a little, things will work out, right?   
“Fine.”

\---

During the two weeks of the waiting period Jake had given me I had been pretty restless. Time couldn’t pass fast enough. I wrote a few songs, and composed a few melodies, honestly, I tried to keep busy and wait proactively. I spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning, thinking about what I would say when I finally see her and after what seemed like forever, I got the call from Jake, informing me it was okay for me to go to the states. Once there I met the P.I’s and got debriefed on all three subjects as they called them, the last P.I tried to seduce me.

“She must be very important if someone like you is looking for her, right?”  
The P.I’s question came out of nowhere, it was unexpected to say the least, why should she care the reason as to why I’m looking for someone, shouldn’t she just do her job.   
“Someone like me?” I retort.  
She nodded tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “You are handsome and successful, you can have anyone you want,” She continued to bat her eyelashes at me, “Why would you spend so much time looking for one simple person?”   
She was brazen, and it angered me that she was so shameless to speak ill of a person she doesn’t even know.   
“She is very important,” I tried to keep my composure, “Now, can you give me the information I paid for?” 

She grabbed the manila folder that was in her desk drawer and made her way to me: sitting right in front of me on top of her desk. Her legs were parted in a way a lady should not part them when wearing a skirt, and yet, she was audacious enough to try to flirt with me, I caught onto her games pretty quick.  
“Would you like the information, or would you rather do something else…” She spread her legs enough to show me she was going commando, “to me, here in my desk?” Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes held lust and desperation. Don’t get me wrong, I'm not a virgin by any means, nor do I expect that from Y/N. I have had my fair share of women, because as a man I have needs, but it was always just carnal and physical, even then I am picky and one of the major turn offs for me, is easy women. I need that information, but I will not compromise my integrity to get it, Y/N wouldn’t want me to.   
I flash my smile at her, I know that sometimes I cause a certain effect on women, I hope it can help me with this. I get up as if I’m going to tell her something in her ear and grab the manila folder from her hands as she is distracted by how close our faces are. Once I have the folder in my hand I whisper in a low tone, “You’re not my type.” And with that remark, I walk out triumphantly. 

My victory doesn’t last long. 

After looking over all the information and planning the perfect events in which I would bump into each Y/N, I find myself at the end of a cliff that leads to a never ending abyss. I schemed enough to bump into each Y/N on the list, but none of the three are her. 

\---

“I’m going to take a walk,” I inform my manager, who even on this is loyal and has stayed by my side.   
“Okay, keep your phone on.” He smiles apologetically. 

I begin my walk at the beach port, it is a beautiful sight to see the sun set, but sadly my mind is clouded with thoughts and my heart tugs at my chest, I feel more empty now than ever. So much that the grandiose skylight seems bland and unimportant. 

Destiny really isn’t on my side, is it? Maybe I am chasing an empty dream that will never happen. Maybe I was looking too much into it or maybe it isn’t time yet, maybe I will never find her. How foolish am I to believe in something that has not been scientifically proven, fate and destiny are all part of beliefs that I’m not even sure I have. What if it isn’t meant to be?  
I am so overwhelmed with thoughts that I don’t see her coming; I feel our bodies collide and then water. 

Third Person POV

Y/N didn’t know that day would be important, if she had, maybe she would have dressed to impress, maybe she would have put a bit more effort into her image a month before, but she didn’t know. She didn’t know that she would finally reunite with the boy who was her first love, the boy who now was a man guided by destiny that for some reason led to her.

Namjoon had no idea that he would meet her again, this way. In his mind, he had planned the perfect meeting, the one that had occurred three times before already with the wrong people. He wanted to look good for her, he wanted her to see how much he had changed but remained the same at the core. He was no longer a boy in love, he was a man in the search of the woman who he had longed for for years, his heart ached for her, and hers ached for him, and in some twist of destiny, fate brought those hearts together for the first time in 13 years and it was magical…


End file.
